Found out today (after falling in love with a house we went to look at in Acworth) that Craig isn't going to get the children's/youth pastor position he applied for. I was sooooooooo hoping he was going to get it. I really thought that was how God would prepare us for one day going on the mission field. But apparently not. Now I am sad. Can't seem to shake it off. Craig said he never really felt one way or another about it so he's okay. But me? Not okay. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just roll with the punches? What is God doing here? Why does it seem like when I get one or two questions answered, a thousand more follow in their places? What are we supposed to do? Why won't anyone hire him? How come when some people seek God they get an answer immediately...or in a few weeks/months??? But us---nope. I am having a hard day praising Him in the storm today. I wish I was one of those people who could always see the good in the bad. Usually I am. Not today. I am having a nice little pity party over here and I'm apparently ALL alone in that party.
I hate that we drove all over Acworth today. I hate that we looked inside that house. I hate that we have it all on video. I hate that I apparently have no clue where our lives are headed. And I hate that I feel like hating everything right now. I want to be happy, upbeat, excited about what God will offer in the future. You know...when God closes a door He opens a window and all that. Only trouble with that is now I'm thinking about that house with all the doors and windows!!
Please don't take this the wrong way. I do trust God. I do trust He will bring something better. I do know He will take care of us and provide for us. I've watched miracles take place in the last 9 months. I am just tired of not knowing where we will be in a month. And I am just human.
(Hopefully I will have something better to report next time...or at least be in a better mood.) :)
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